Comedy star just can’t stop watching the Brexit soap opera

Who would have thought, back in 2016 as we were all being asked what we should do about the European Union, just under three years later we’d find ourselves where we are now, writes Steve N Allen, comedian and star of BBC2’s The Mash Report.

We haven’t had a week like this since, well, last December when this whole thing was meant to have happened.

Steve N Allen

Steve N Allen

I sat and watched Theresa May, our Prime Minister (correct at time of going to press), I watched the news pundits and I even saw the protests outside Parliament.

I think there were some yellow vest people but it is hard to tell.

If you see someone wearing high-viz they’re either protesting or collecting litter.

I thought I’d stumbled on a far-right rally the other day but it was just some people doing community service.

I watched the TV, cramming popcorn into my face, as the speaker, John Bercow shouted, ‘order, order’.

I smiled because he always sounds like a man having a difficult poo.

The vote came in – 202 for, 432 against.

In Theresa May’s defence it could have been worse - 201 for and 433 against.

But it wasn’t great.

Rejected by 230 votes, the largest defeat for a sitting Government in history.

So, at least Theresa will be remembered for something other than wheat field vandalism.

But where does the UK go from here?

Is Brexit dead in the water?

In the Channel probably, shouting ‘m’aidez’ just to annoy us.

How long will Theresa May last?

She’s already lasted longer than David Cameron would have.

He’d have heard the result, stood up and said, ‘right, I’m off to my shed in a field’.

And no, it’s not a pig field before you even start.”

One thing is for sure, it’s three years after the referendum and people are still trying to work out what we should do about the EU.