Chesterfield based charity The Elm Foundation highlights support for domestic abuse victims

Every week in England there are three homicides and two women take their own lives because of abusive relationships.

Alarmingly, an average of 36 incidents of domestic abuse occur before the police are notified.

Helen Mitchell is head of operations at Chesterfield based The Elm Foundation, a charity that supports affected partners and their families. She said: "People look at domestic abuse and think of it as a black eye or a bruise after a bloke goes to a pub on a Friday night, but it's not. It crosses all sectors and all stratas of society including barristers, hospital consultants and head teachers."

Helen has been working for the charity for 15 years and was initially taken on as a community worker. She said: "I can remember there was a lovely lady in her early 80s who had been married over fifty years and had had a lot of physical assaults right from day one. I was heartbroken for the poor woman. One day she said: "I've had enough...I want a few quiet years.' We sorted her out and off she went.

"Another elderly lady's hairdresser was sufficiently concerned to bring her customer here and by the end of the day we had her in one of our refuges. It's really heart-warming that someone took the time to support that lady to pack up her bags and leave while the chap was out.

“To anyone who is trapped in an abusive relationship, please try and get hold of us. We work around you and appreciate that communication is difficult but just give us a call and or get someone to give us a call. Provided it's safe for our staff, we can meet you at a GP's, a library, a social care office, a school or a playground. If you're feeling threatened, then ring the police. They are a conduit to us and will ask 'do you want us to put you in contact with domestic abuse services?' ”The Elm Foundation, which operates in Chesterfield, Bolsover, parts of North-East Derbyshire and Amber Valley, works in conjunction with two similar charities in Derbyshire. The others are Crossroads that covers High Peak and parts of the Derbyshire Dales and Derbyshire WISH operating in Erewash and parts of Amber Valley and Derbyshire Dales.

A helpline - 0800 198668 - is staffed by The Elm Foundation from Monday to Friday, 8am until 10pm, where clients and agencies can talk in confidence.

Figures show that 3,495 calls were made to the Derbyshire Domestic Abuse Helpline during the year 2022-2023. Of those calls, more than a quarter (29%) were self-referrals, 19% came from police and 19% from children's social care. There were more calls received from within Chesterfield borough than anywhere else in the local authority areas covered by the three partner charities.

Statistics indicate that 2652 adults and 790 children were supported in 2022, an increase of 232 percent and 223 percent respectively on the figures in 2019.

Helen said: "The pandemic was difficult...the fact that clients were still living with the perpetrator meant we had to manage calls over a period of weeks and other services weren't able to get in face to face. We saw a significant rise in children's referrals once they went back to school."

Jas, 22, is an adult assessment worker at The Elm Foundation. She said: "When a client is referred, we are the first person to contact them - we usually do this within five days. We go over all the information with them, such as addresses, phone numbers, children and alleged perpetrator details.We keep in contact with them fortnightly while they are on a waiting list - it can be four to six weeks before they are allocated a community outreach worker."

The Elm Foundation’s senior management is headed by chief executive officer Jennifer Calverley. There are nine community workers, nine children and young person's services workers, eight refuge workers, five staff members on the helpline, four workers on the perpetrator team, two on therapeutic services and additional staff working in management, administration and housekeeping.

Based at Fairfield Road, the charity operates three refuges in Chesterfield borough - including the only male refuge in Derbyshire - and a fourth in North-East Derbyshire. The locations of the refuges are a closely guarded secret to protect those who have fled from abusive relationships. Helen said: "Some of the partners can be extremely dangerous and we have to protect not only the person in there but also the other residents and their children." Stringent tests are carried out to check that clients are suitable for communal living in a refuge.

Domestic abuse can take on a number of different forms including sexual, physical, emotional, psychological and financial.

The Elm Foundation runs a voluntary programme called Changes for adults who recognise that their behaviour is unsatisfactory. This 26-week course looks at healthy relationships, financial control, male privilege and parenting.

There is also a Choices programme for children and young people who are showing harmful behaviour with the aim of addressing and reducing abusive tendencies as early as possible and preventing them from becoming adult perpetrators of domestic abuse.

Work is also being done within the corporate setting. Helen said: "Thousands of days a year are lost through domestic abuse and staff absence. We want to raise awareness about how businesses can support staff members once they've separated if they are getting harassment from the perpetrator.

"We'll never be out of business until we change people's views on domestic abuse and expectations."

To find out more about the support available, go to www.theelmfoundation.org.uk.

Case study

A woman who was raised in an abusive household during childhood and went on to have two children with a partner who was coercive and controlling is rebuilding her life thanks to the support of The Elm Foundation.

The 31-year-old mum was called derogatory names, had harmful comments made regarding her appearance and was criticised for her parenting, all of which took its toll on her mental health.She tried to leave the abusive relationship after 10 years but the perpetrator used the children to coerce her into returning. When she fled for a second time, she was rehoused by the local authority.Distressed that the perpetrator was still using the children in an attempt to control her, the woman reached out to The Elm Foundation. She called the helpline and was allocated a community worker.Practical support she received from the charity included managing difficult communication with the perpetrator concerning contact. She was also emplowered to retake control of contact arrangements which includes taking along an adult that she trusts for support when she hands over the children to the perpetrator.The woman reported the effects that the abuse had had on her children, but said that she lacked the confidence to have conversations with them when they asked questions. Now she is able to participate in conversations with her children providing them with emotional support when they instigate discussions around what they witnessed and how this made them feel.

The Elm Foundation’s oingoing support has also given the woman confidence to enrol in an adult education course at college.