TONY ON TV: TV motors on with the return of Britain’s Got Talent

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WHAT was your best April Fool’s Day joke?

WHAT was your best April Fool’s Day joke?

I know it’s a week ago, but among the tops were:

lMona Lisa wore contact lenses

l Six-legged sheep would produce more meat

l The Queen was up for some oil exploration in the garden at Buckingham Palace

l Biscuit-flavoured teabags

However, the one that caught me on the backfoot for a moment was that once Scotland got its independence traffic would switch to driving on the right.

But this has already been trialled locally on that “road to the hell,” the A38, as anyone heading out to McArthurGlen would know from the many chancers vying for space on that 2-into-1-into-2-road system out to the M1.

The serious side of who is behind the wheel for better or worse is examined in ‘Exposure: Who’s Driving on Britain’s Road’ (Thursday, ITV1), which reports on the murky world of driving-test fraud, revealing how thousands of potentially dangerous motorists are getting the green light illegally, having paid impersonators to pass tests for them.

This documentary brings into sharp relief the work of the Driving Standards Agency’s fraud unit as they uncover the extraordinary lengths to which criminals will go to cheat the system from masters of disguise, who have sat hundreds of exams, to corrupt translators and manufacturers of fake licences.

And, if you are still in motoring mode there’s a late-night repeat of ‘Inside Rolls-Royce’ (Channel 4) which takes a behind-the-scenes look at the top car manufacturer’s factory at Goodwood in Surrey.

Pensioner power, rather than horse power, seems to be the theme of weekend viewing on ITV, and I’m not referring to the return of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ (Saturday) back for a 13-week run with the “dream team,” or nightmare if you’re not a fan, of Simon Cowell, aided and abetted by Amanda Holden, Alesha Dixon and David Walliams.

The OAPs waiting in the wings are to be seen afterwards on ‘Amazing Greys’ (it’s a late night for some as they are on until 9.30pm) hosted by Paddy McGuinness with help from Angela Rippon as young contenders flex their mental or physical powers against three talented senior citizens in a bid to leave with £10,000.

Madness, rather than money, seems to be the driving force for those elderly troublemakers starring in the hidden camera show ‘Off Their Rockers’ (Sunday) as they ambush the unsuspecting in a second series of light-hearted pranks and hilarious stunts.

However, order is soon restored at 8pm in ‘Sway,’ the third of the current four-part ‘Endeavour’ series (Sunday, ITV1) set in the build-up to Bonfire Night 1966 as young DC Morse investigates the death of a housewife -- the third strangling in a month.

The cases seem unrelated, but amid the tragedies Morse discovers a common link that might just stop the killer striking again.